Lies Women Believe by Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth is a book that goes through various lies that women believe about reality and counters them. Dealing specifically with many of the lies women believe about God, themselves, sin, priorities, sexuality, marriage, children, emotions and circumstances, this book is designed as a gentle, but firm exhortation to wake women up to see the truth.
I get the impression that many of the women's writings of today cater to women's excuses, unbelief and overall selfishness. We don't need to build up our self-love, "the truth is that we do love ourselves", we need to learn to deny ourselves. "Our most common malady is not having a low view [of] ourselves, but having a low view of God."
I also loved how the author pointed out that the thought, "I can't help the way I am" because of - fill in the blank-, is a lie. She uses Eve as an example: it was not Eve's circumstances that accounted for her miserable condition, it was not that she had had a difficult childhood, been unloved, abused by her husband, had uncontrollable emotional issues, physical ailments or any of the many excuses women nowadays love to turn too. No, Eve had a great beginning in life, she was never physically or verbally abused and was in great physical and emotional shape. And yet she still sinned.
There were some things I didn't like, however. For instance, there was some stuff in the "Sexuality" chapter that I was uncomfortable with, I skipped over stuff, and I didn't think the fictional 'Eve's diary' part was very edifying in that particular chapter either (there are some things I just don't need to imagine in my head). I know that most (probably all) of the advice and counsel is good but I simply didn't think that it needed to be dealt with that thoroughly.
Also, I didn't agree or see the sense of why she thinks that it is okay for Christians to turn to drugs to help with depression. It just seems to contradict what she said earlier, about the bad habit people have of turning to movies, alcohol or fun activities to change their bad emotions into happy ones rather than turning to God and His Word first. I mean, for a Christian, what if there were pills to deal with, not only depression, but lust, anger, pride and fear? Would taking a pill for stopping lust be "killing sin"? Or just sedating it? I thought that the weapons of our warfare are "not carnal" (2 Corinthians 10:4). What if a disaster or something happens and those pills are no longer made or we lost access to them? Would we have built up any spiritual muscle for the fight against those emotions? Or will they manifest themselves stronger than ever because we didn't kill them daily we merely rendered them unconscious so that we didn't have to fight them? As Wolgemuth says, "When we find ourselves suffering under the weight of negative emotions like anger, anxiety, bitterness, despair, hatred or condemnation, we must learn to look toward God's Truth, keeping our minds stayed on Him rather than simply trying to escape or swap out negative emotions with a feel-good substitute. " I would add depression to that list.
But overall I thought that the book was very good. Wolgemuth counters the lies with Biblical truth very well, and gives a lot of good counsel. Here are some more of the concepts that I really liked that are based in the truth:
When people think that you're not normal, they're right! You're not normal, you are a New Creation! You are a saint, not a sinner.
Wives are not their husband's mothers, and they should not act as though they are the Holy Spirit in their husband's lives.
We are not saved by our feelings, our feelings are not facts. We look to how what God says is true, not to our feelings to figure out reality.
And lastly, the truth may not change your circumstances, but that's okay, it will change you. God is primarily making us holy, not 'happy' - this side of eternity.
Many thanks to the folks at Moody Publishers Newsroom for sending me a free review copy of this book! My review did not have to be favorable.
My rating 4 out of 5 Stars